The dumbest of the dumb

spamislame · **Joined:** Tue May 09, 2006 9:18 am **Posts:** 5022

I don't know what it is about today but for some reason I'm hearing from a huge amount of really incompetent spammers.

This one took the cake though... :roll:

Quote:

URGENT RESPONSED TO THIS OFFICE IMMEDIATELY YOU RECEIVED

Learn More|
YAHOOMAIL.COM,. HOTMAIL. ,GMAIL.,AOL, AND ALL CUSTOMER ACCOUNT USERS?
Warning: This message may not be from whom it claims to be. Beware of following any links in it or of providing the sender with any personal information. Learn more
Dear Account Owner,
It has come to our notice that youremail has not passed the verification/Update process that we arepresently working on. We are currently upgrading our data base ande-mail account center .We are deleting all Old Web mail email account to create more space for new accounts.. To prevent your account fromclosing you will have to update it so that we will know that it's apresent used account. To complete your account re-confirmation, you must reply to this email immediately and enter your account details as requested below.
****IMPORTANT :
*********************************************************************************
Your Email User-name :
Your EMAIL Pass-word :
your Date of Birth :
your Country or Territory :
****************************************************
ALL YOUR IMPORTANTS SHOULD BE VERIFY ALSO:
This updating is compulsory as aresult of our recent server changes. If you fail to update your emailaddress you will soon be unable to receive/send mails And your Email will be close within 45 minis.Also your emailwill not be equipped with the latest anti-virus system in our newservers. This will make your email and PC vulnerable to virus attacksfrom the internet.
****HOW TO UPDATE:
To update simply reply the above toupgrading admin as appropriate. Failure to do so immediately will leadto SUSPENSION OF YOUR ACCOUNT.
Thanks for your co-operation,
Web-mail Administrator

"ALL YOUR IMPORTANTS SHOULD BE VERIFY ALSO", eh? Is that right?

His response address was a_unt@yahoo.com

Stupid, stupid criminals. If anyone actually responded to this message I honestly think they deserve to lose their email account.

SiL

AlphaCentauri · **Joined:** Thu Mar 01, 2007 3:01 am **Posts:** 5915

Quote:

Subject: CHILD FOR ADOPTION.

Hello,

My name is Mrs Yetunde Owolabi from Republic of Benin, I gave birth to three plates, 3 children at a time after the death my husband on 18th of June 2011 by auto car accident. Already we have received 5 children from God, right now I can’t take care of them so I have decided to give them out for adoption, if you are interested let me know, I am not selling them but you will only pay for adoption fees to the ministry in concern and the Lawyer will legalized all the relevant documents and the baby will become legally yours.

Thanks,

Mrs. Yetunde Owolabi

I have no idea what "she" was trying to say. 5 children from God, 9 children from Lenox?

Nodus · **Joined:** Fri Jun 15, 2007 7:05 pm **Posts:** 2261

Don't forget the three plates she also gave birth to... :lol:

Red Dwarf · **Joined:** Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:01 am **Posts:** 9227

It sounds to me like an invitation to one of those Tupperware parties.

NotBuyingIt · **Joined:** Sun Jun 13, 2010 5:22 pm **Posts:** 528

That one was a top-notch addition to this thread. I think that I've used the same "smart phone" spelling checker.

AlphaCentauri wrote:

Quote:

Subject: CHILD FOR ADOPTION.
I gave birth to three plates, 3 children at a time

1. My gosh, she's going to hold an eBabes auction.

2. Did you receive the spam in triplicate?

3. Be on the lookout for an adoption scam that has been reported in the tri-plate area.

Red Dwarf · **Joined:** Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:01 am **Posts:** 9227

Whiel we are commeting on poor spellnig

Quote:

JOB VACANCIES IN CROWN JEWEL HOTEL

Crwon Jewel Hotel [email protected]

Feb 11

to undisclosed recipients

CROWN JEWEL HOTEL
Jalan Tanjung Bungah, 11200 Penang,
Malaysia.
Telephone: +60102550224,
Fax: +60310992095.

Email: [email protected]
Web: http://www.penang-hotels.com/crownjewel/index.htm

Attn !!!
JOB VACANCIES IN CROWN JEWEL HOTEL
Crwon-Jewel Hotel is accepting applications from qualified applicants with specialty in hospitality /catering,

Perficiency in English is a perquisite

AlphaCentauri · **Joined:** Thu Mar 01, 2007 3:01 am **Posts:** 5915

Here's an applicant with the perquisite Egnilsh perfishency, let alone his creative use of header fields, punctuation and capitalization:

Quote:

Reply-To: <[email protected]>
From: "get back to meemmidiately you receive this msg."<[email protected]>
Subject: GREETINGS...

YOU ARE A VERY LUCKY PERSON BECAUSE I SHALL BE BRINGING IT MYSELF AND THERE IS NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO ABOUT IT.in accordance with the instruction as received from the above mentioned organizations.i refuse to give you the details until i hear from you.get back to me via email.

Red Dwarf · **Joined:** Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:01 am **Posts:** 9227

Not everyone knows da meaning

> . I have a throat cancer and I
> suffer terribly at the moment. My doctor just informed me that my days
> are numbered because of my health demeaning.

Red Dwarf · **Joined:** Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:01 am **Posts:** 9227

Alas, another forest is razed. This email bears a heavy message. This writer forsook a sex change operation as a curative measure.

>I write to you with trees and pains. My name is Mrs. Helen matins. I
was Born June 21, 1948 woman.i am a widow and suffering from cancer of
the breast,

Red Dwarf · **Joined:** Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:01 am **Posts:** 9227

Need a loan to buy more clothes? Lots of new costumes?

Illiterate spammer wrote:

Note: Only serious costumers are require.
Are you in search of a legit loan company?
We Offer LOANS from Min $5,000.00 to $1,000,000,000.00 at 6% interest rate.

spamislame · **Joined:** Tue May 09, 2006 9:18 am **Posts:** 5022

I keep hearing from this apparently desperate pill spammer promoting bzbz.

The messages have always been nonsense text with no discernible sentence structure of any kind, with a goo.gl shortened url in the midst of it.

Very often the links don't stand out because Gmail, Yahoo and Hotmail can't pick out the end of the URL, so that's newbie mistake number one.

But at least his subject lines at least gave a hint as to what type of crap was being promoted.

And then I get this one:

Quote:

Subject: #31171940

agreement levelO<rzgr
qmfwu="http://goo.gl/i35Rr

That ultimately leads to yet another ridiculous "Viagrow" site.

There's desperate, and then there's shooting your own foot. Nobody would click on any link in this email.

Google takes around 3 hours to shut down any urls I report to them. It's not ideal but honestly: how many orders is this guy getting in 3 hours with an incomprehensible spam message like this one?

SiL

Red Dwarf · **Joined:** Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:01 am **Posts:** 9227

This one has a dry sense of humor

Dry Cynthia wrote:

*Hello Dear my name is Cinythia Eltone i m 30 old girl i m single never
marred Dear i sow your profile on this site it was so nice looking to me
dear i will like us to have some good desiccation together

Red Dwarf · **Joined:** Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:01 am **Posts:** 9227

Is there a right way to interpret the subject line?

Subject: U.S ARMY {CAN YOU BE TRUSTED}

Kenneth Cole [email protected]

Dear Friend

I am Colonel Kenneth Cole,an officer of the U.S Army.
etc

---------
. . . at Alice's Restaurant

AlphaCentauri · **Joined:** Thu Mar 01, 2007 3:01 am **Posts:** 5915

Somebody please tell Barbara Cole that her Dad is in the US Army and didn't pass away in a car accident. I get her spam four times a day. :roll:

Red Dwarf · **Joined:** Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:01 am **Posts:** 9227

Getting it all into one long sentence - read this aloud in one breath.

My Father Benoit Kadin was a well know business man who deal with Equine
Injections for wild Animals before he retired, he has been dealing with some
reputed Doctors in Australia and Newzerland who use to come to Paris and United
Kingdom to purchase this Injections from my Father, which he got from some
accredited Agent of the Company who supply him with the Original CONCENTRATED
PENTOSAN IV EQUINE INJECTION, but since my father retired into Business he
misplace the contact of the Agents as he could not see very well due to the
illness he is undergoing this days, but in my research on his documents i came
across some receipts of his previous transaction of which I got a contacts of the
Agents, and it come to my notice that the Agent stays in one of the Biggest World
Trade Center for their adverts.

Gasp! :error:

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The dumbest of the dumb

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